Another One of Those Days

*sigh*

i woke up feeling trapped. it has been six months since I sort of lost interest in my work. the worst thing is i feel guilty everyday for not maximizing all these work opportunities. i remembered telling my friends about how uninterested and unmotivated i was. they were also surprised. it is so not me!

i really do not know what’s wrong. am i just bored and distracted?

last wednesday, i spent the entire day ‘escaping’ reality. this means that i wasted my time watching another japanese drama series (nobuta wo produce), which i downloaded. yes, i enjoyed it immensely but i know that it was a waste of time.

or was it?

it is so difficult to determine if one is wasting time when you feel like you are nourishing your soul and your heart with these activities.for instance, whenever i watch these jdramas, i feel more alive. yesterday, i spent time with my family. we dined out and did a bit of window shopping. i felt happy but there was this nagging feeling that i should have been working.

i guess its time for me to change my attitude about work. i am really blessed for having a job that pays well and allows me to stay at home. with the bad economy, i really should feel lucky. honestly, i feel sad that i have become someone who can not appreciate her blessings.

before, i used to be so pro-active, grabbing every opportunity that comes my way without hesitation. now, i have difficulties motivating myself to finish my work. aarrggghhh! i really, really hate this!

OKAY.

all THESE should end NOW! no more excuses and justifications. life is already hard as it is without worrying about a source of income. my clients LOVE me and they are overlooking all my faults. i should feel ashamed for being so unprofessional and immature!

hai! TODAY, everything changes. I WILL WORK HARD AND TRY GIVE MY BEST!

This is perhaps the one thing i noticed from japanese dramas. they give importance to the value of their work and give their all!

Gambatte!

*JA*